


Take This City

by Brightest_Moonstone



Series: they're playing our song... [2]
Category: Sly Cooper (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, Includes Art, ill advised makeouts, seriously these two need to keep their hands off each other, sort of a heist fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-20 12:22:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11920815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brightest_Moonstone/pseuds/Brightest_Moonstone
Summary: The three of them burst onto the roof, for an instant Sly was a dark shape against the skyline and then he was gone.“I won’t let you get away next time Cooper.” Carmelita yelled after him. “Next time will be different, do you hear me? Next time!” She beat her fists against the ledge of the roof and hung her head forward.God she had to stop kissing Sly Cooper.





	Take This City

**Author's Note:**

> So if you've just joined us this is a sequel to 'Strangers in a Crowded Place' and you may want to read that first for context.  
> There is also Mayurei's amazing art 
> 
>  
> 
> [It begins](https://mayurei.tumblr.com/post/164033138004/belldandy-goddessofthepresent-recently)
> 
>  
> 
> [Poor Carmelita](https://mayurei.tumblr.com/post/164170801474/the-aftermath-part-oneof-many-inspired-by)
> 
>  
> 
> [She's just not happy right now](https://mayurei.tumblr.com/post/164173535959/the-aftermath-part-twoof-many-stay-tuned-the)

The Hyde Museum was awash with red and blue light as uniformed and plainclothes officers moved about. A pair of bored constables guarding the cordon looked up as a little red sports car careened around the corner and screeched to a halt in front of them. A tall vixen got out and shot the two of them such a look that they were snapping to attention even before she’d flashed her badge.

“Who’s in charge here?”

“DCI James,” one of the constables said pointing. “You can’t miss him. The fox in the dark blue jacket, standing next to the tiger.”

Carmelita nodded her thanks and strode off,

“Detective Chief Inspector James?” She called out as she approached.

A grey male fox, perhaps a handful of years older than her with a shock of hair so fair it was almost white looked up at her address.

“Yes?” He spoke with a broad south London accent.

She opened her ID, “Inspector Carmelita Fox, Interpol.”

He blinked surprised, “Raymond James, Scotland Yard.” He held out a hand for her to shake, “we weren’t expecting you until tomorrow.”

“I called in a favour. You said the Cooper gang was here.”

“We believe so,” he held out a hand and the Bengal tiger beside him passed him an evidence bag. “We have security footage of an individual we suspect is Cooper and this was left at the scene.” He passed Carmelita the bag. Inside was one of Sly’s calling cards.

Carmelita held it up to the light, turning it over before passing it back, “it’s fake.” She said shortly.

“What?” The tiger bristled in surprise, “with all due respect ma’am you just got here how can you be so sure?”

“It’s the wrong shade of blue, the cardstock is too thin and it’s missing his signature. Trust me when you are tasked with catching a thief with the vanity, the sheer unmitigated gall to use a calling card you get pretty adept at spotting the forgeries. I think I’ve seen more fakes than originals at this point.”

“Fascinating.” James murmured. “Ah Inspector please forgive my manners, this is my right hand Detective Sargent Priya Mitra.”

“Sargent.” Carmelita nodded.

“Mitra, track down the curator for the Inspector and meet us in the security office.”

“Yes sir.”

James escorted Carmelita into the museum to show her the footage of a dark shape that definitely looked like Cooper.  
“Do you think this might be the copycat also?” James asked her.

Carmelita saw moonlight glinting off the head of a hooked cane, “no I believe that is Cooper, probably casing the place.”

“Madame Ferron the curator for you Inspector.” Sargent Mitra said.

“Thank you Sargent.”

Carmelita introduced herself to the curator, a kindly looking old vole and began asking questions. “What was stolen Madam?”

The curator listed a number of works including the famous portrait ‘Venus in Furs’ which had been loaned to the museum by a private collector.

“And the other stolen items were all public works?” Carmelita asked looking up from her notes.

“Yes.”

“Are there any other private works in the museum?”

“Not at the moment, no.” The woman shook her head.

“Thank you for your time madam.” She turned to James while Mitra showed the curator out. “The Cooper gang did not do this. I suspect that the ‘Venus in Furs’ was their intended target but I’d need a background check on the owner to be sure.”

James was nodding over his own notes, “well then Inspector if your Cooper gang didn’t do it does that mean you’ll be rushing back to Paris?”

“No, if Cooper is here I’ll find him.” If the fact that she’d already heard that song since she’d been here was any indication, then he was close by. “If you don’t mind having me along Detective Chief Inspector perhaps I can assist with your investigation.”

“It would be my absolute pleasure Inspector Fox.”

She smiled, “please call me Carmelita.”

“In that case call me Ray.”

“JAMES.” A bloodhound in a perfect tweed suit was striding down the corridor.

“Superintendent Lindsay didn’t expect to see you here tonight sir.” James said sounding less than enthused.

“Just got off the phone with the minister, they want this mess cleaned up quickly… who’s this?” He looked down at Carmelita, nostrils flaring.

Carmelita stood impassively and let herself be appraised. She was used to others finding fault with her, with her gender, her species, her age. She was used to proving them wrong “Inspector Carmelita Fox, Interpol.”

“I called in the Inspector because we believed the Cooper gang to be involved.” James said. “She’s just arrived from Paris.”

“Whilst I can appreciate your timely arrival Inspector I am sure my detectives can handle this case, without any need for outside assistance.”

Ah so he was territorial, well that figured. Carmelita could deal with territorial. “Of course sir I have no doubts of that.” She said. “However I am an expert in these types of robberies, perhaps I can help expedite the process.” 

The Superintendent frowned suspiciously at her and then looked at James, “I want this resolved as quickly as possible.” He loomed over James. “Preliminary paperwork on my desk first thing in the morning. Welcome to London Inspector Fox.” With that, he turned on his heel and strode away.

James shot Carmelita a look and rolled his eyes, “damn bluebloods.” He whispered once his boss was well out of earshot. “He’s a good cop but those old hunting dog instincts mean he’s always hounding me.” He gave her a conspiratorial smile.

Carmelita laughed at that, abruptly and too loud in the quiet museum. She clapped a hand over her mouth embarrassed.

James was grinning at her, “You have a lovely smile Carmelita.”

She smoothed her hair, “thank you… Ray.”

* * *

Safely hidden in the shadows a raccoon watched the exchange with a growing sense of disbelief.

“THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE!” Bentley said outraged.

“I know.” Sly said fiddling with the zoom on his binocucom to get a better look at Carmelita’s pink cheeks. “Carmelita never laughs at my jokes.”

“Sly focus! Someone beat us to the ‘Venus in Furs’ and tried to frame you for the crime.”

“Who does this guy think he is?”

“Exactly, get the rest of the recon photos and head back to the safe house…”

“Where does he get off calling her by her first name? They only just met.”

“SLY!” Bentley actually yelled so loudly that a pair of passing uniforms looked around for the source of the sound.

Sly scampered a little further up the wall, away from their sudden torchlight, “Bentley.” He hissed. “Alright, alright I’m…”

“Have you found a hotel yet Carmelita?”

“Not yet, no.”

“Well I am happy to offer recommendations, I grew up in London. I know all the best places.”

“Why thank you Ray, it’s always useful to have some local _knowledge_.”

Sly felt one of his ears twitch, “hey Bentley I’m going to need you to make a phone call for me.”

“What? Now Sly, really?”

“C’mon be a pal.”

There was a long sigh over the comm, “…fine.”

A few seconds of silence and then the chorus of a familiar song burst loudly into life, the look of pure unmitigated rage on Carmelita’s face was priceless.  
Screaming she hurled her phone violently through the nearest window, there was a terrific crash of breaking glass and then a wet plop as the still ringing phone landed in the nearby river.  
Wide eyed, shoulders heaving she turned back to a staring James. “….I …. I’m…. I am due for an upgrade.”

“Ah.”

Sly smirked, “okay Bentley, now I’m heading back.”

“I hope you appreciate how much skill it takes to keep hacking into Interpol issue phones, and all you ever want to do is change the ringtone.” Bentley sniffed.

“You’re the best pal.”

“You know Sly one of these days you’re going to have to tell us what the deal is with you, Inspector Fox, and that song.”

“I have my reasons.” Sly said snapping a final shot of Carmelita’s furious face before disappearing into the night.

* * *

“Okay.” Bentley said, clicking through his first set of slides. “Slight change of plans the ‘Venus in Furs’ is gone,” the second slide showed the painting they were after hastily scribbled over. “And whoever took it wants the police to think it was us.” The next slide showed the fake calling card. “I’ve already left some anonymous posts on several black market art forums. If anyone wants to sell the stolen art, we should be able to track them down. And Sly, because you begged here’s everything I could find on Detective Chief Inspector James.” Bentley passed Sly a manila folder.

“Thanks Bentley. Anything juicy?” Sly asked flipping through the folder.

Bentley shrugged, “not really. Born and raised in South London, graduated top of his class, awarded twice for ‘conspicuous gallantry’ and got a major promotion after dismantling a kidnapping ring.”

“Sounds like a real boy scout.” Sly muttered.

“You think he might be trouble Sly?” Murray asked.

“Definitely trouble.” Sly agreed. “Now that things have quieted down I might go back to the museum, take another look round.”

Bentley nodded, “I’ll check on my forum posting and let you know if I hear anything.”

Nodding Sly picked up his cane and slipped out the door.

* * *

After convincing DCI James that she was fine to get herself to the hotel he’d recommended, Carmelita went poking around on her own. With the Cooper gang’s plan interrupted then likely, their next target would be whoever had actually ended up with the painting but there was a still a chance they might come back here. And out on the roof she hit pay dirt.

“Alright Cooper hands up.” She told the dark figure crouching above the skylight.

“Carmelita.” He turned to her smiling, greeting her like, he’d seen an old friend in a café, not an angry police officer pointing a weapon at him.

“That’s Inspector Fox to you.” She snapped. “Didn’t Cairo teach you anything? Returning to the scene of a crime seldom works out well.”

“Didn’t Cairo teach you anything?” Sly quipped back, “not every crime in the world is committed by me.”

“Then what are you doing here?”

“Would you believe… a late night architecture tour? I have deep and abiding love for flying buttresses.”

“Mmm hmm.” Carmelita made a sceptical noise. “And it has nothing to do with the ‘Venus in Furs’?”

“That’s funny I didn’t think that painting was currently in this museum.” Sly said leaning on his cane.

Carmelita grit her teeth, “I knew I’d find you here you know. I knew you had to be nearby when I got off the ferry and my car started playing that damn song.”

“You know Inspector, just as not every crime in the world is committed by me not every instance of our song playing is my fault either.”

“Oh really? What about my phones?”

“Have you had a problem with your phone Inspector? You gotta be careful with that. I hear water damage is a killer.”

Carmelita was going to kill him. How dare he stand there and be so unaffected by what had happened. How dare he be so casual when she was so angry, so upset… so embarrassed. The metaphorical lightbulb went off in Carmelita’s head, she was embarrassed by what had happened between them that night. Cooper wasn’t. He was happy to silently brag all over Europe if the way _that damn song_ following her everywhere was any indication. She was going about this the wrong way. She’d seen what affected him, she just needed to use it. 

Holstering her shock pistol, she moved into his personal space and looked up at him through her lashes. Alarmed Cooper leaned away from her,

“Uhh…”

“About that night…” She ran a hand over his chest.

“Yes…?” She could feel him relax ever so slightly beneath her touch, could hear a lilting note of hope in his voice as he answered.

“What would you have done if you hadn’t realised it was me when you did?”

“I… uh… um…” He flushed red. “I would have… I wanted…”

Ignoring the warmth his words caused in her. Carmelita slowly, quietly reached for her handcuffs. Careful to keep Cooper’s eyes trained on her she bit her lip, he leaned toward her groaning. The cuffs clinked together softly, a barely audible chime but Cooper heard, the effect was instantaneous. He leapt away from her and before she could blink, he was perched like a gargoyle on an overhead wire.

“That was cruel Inspector.” He accused.

“As cruel as tormenting someone with the same damn song where ever they go?”

“It’s a reminder of our beautiful moment together.”

“We could have another beautiful moment if you come back down here.” She twirled the handcuffs around on her finger and gave him her best come-hither look.

“I know you’re going to try and arrest me but damn if I’m not tempted.”

She cocked a hip, “sure you don’t want to try your luck Ringtail?”

She saw him waver, just for a second before turning tail and fleeing.

“Damn.” She muttered, whipping out her shock pistol she fired off a few haphazard shots but missed entirely. 

Watching his shadow disappear Carmelita smirked, almost got him.

* * *

Sly staggered back into the hideout and collapsed at the table.

“Find what you were looking for Sly?” Murray asked.

“That and then some pal, that and then some.”

“You okay Sly?”

Sly was trying really hard not to think about Carmelita’s hooded eyes and her teeth dragging across her lower lip. He scrubbed a hand over his face, “yeah Big Guy I’m fine.” He stood on wobbly legs and waved absently, “I’m… um… I’m going to lie down for a while.”

Flopping face first into his bed he groaned, if Carmelita was going to start being sneaky he was going to need to start being more careful.

* * *

Carmelita spent the next few days alternating between the records room with Sargent Mitra and doing legwork with DCI James. She liked James she decided, he was the kind of officer she could joke and swap stories with without it feeling like he constantly needed to one up her. (As so many of her male colleagues often did)

He also let her drive,

“Are you sure?” She’d asked. “You’re the local.”

“You seem like the kind of woman who likes to be in charge, I mean you brought your own car. And I’m happy to direct.”

And he didn’t even hold the radio incident again her,

“Mind if I put some music on?” He’d asked.

Carmelita shrugged, “sure.”

He clicked on the radio.

_‘You make me glow, but I cover up_  
_Won’t let it show, so I’m_  
_Putting my defences up_  
_Cause I don’t wanna fall in love_  
_If I ever did that_  
_I think I’d have a heart attack,’_

Carmelita hurriedly changed the station.

_‘I'll keep mine and you'll keep yours_  
_We all have our secrets_  
_We all have our secrets_  
_Behind every door_  
_Is a fall, a fall and_  
_No one's here to sleep_  
_You were always faster than me_  
_I'll never catch up with you, with you’_

Setting her teeth, she changed again,

_‘Push up to my body_  
_Sink your teeth into my flesh_  
_(Get undressed, ta-taste the flesh)_

_Bite into me harder_  
_Sink your teeth into my flesh_  
_(Pass the test, ta-taste the flesh)_

_Hold me up against the wall_  
_Give it 'till I beg, give me some more…’_

Screeching she changed the station again, James was now looking at her in mild alarm.

An announcer was talking on the next station, “so next up all the way from Korea we have the latest hit from Davichi ‘I Hate You Even Though I Love You’.”

Changing one final time she waited,

_‘I hope you die in a fire!_  
_Hope you'll be stabbed in the heart, hope you'll get shot and expire!_  
_Hope you'll be taken apart_  
_I hope you die in a fire!_  
_Hope you'll be stabbed in the heart, hope you'll get shot and expire!_  
_Hope you'll be taken apart_  
_Hope this is what you desire!_  
_I hope you die in a fire!’_

Sitting back Carmelita relaxed, alright this one she could deal with.

Next to her James cleared his throat, “it’s just a left up here.”

 

The rest of her time was spent with DS Mitra. Mitra was good people too, diligent and detail oriented she was making a pile of likely suspects for Carmelita.

“These guys look good,” she passed over a file. “So do these… no wait, one’s in prison and the other immigrated to Australia.”

“These guys don’t have the I.T expertise.” Carmelita said vetoing another file.

“We might have more luck finding your elusive Cooper gang Inspector.” Mitra sighed.

“That would be a thing Sargent.” Carmelita replied distractedly.

“You know Inspector I read your casefile, you’ve had some pretty close calls with the Cooper gang over the years.”

Carmelita hummed throwing another casefile onto the discard pile. Thinking about Cooper gliding out of the helicopter, about the time he’d jumped off that bridge in Monaco.

“Think you’ll be able to pin him down this time?”

Unbidden _that song_ jumped into her head and with it the memory of Sly’s hands on her thighs, pushing her against the wall while she gasped. 

She threw the folder she was holding with more force than necessary. “NO.” She yelled. “Ahem I mean that is, I think if we catch him it will be uh… a group effort Sargent.”

“Yes of course Inspector.” Mitra said a little uneasily.

Carmelita pinched the bridge of her nose. That damn raccoon was going to send her mad.

* * *

Since Bentley’s black market art forums weren’t turning up any leads Sly decided a slightly different approach was in order.  
He was just checking to see if the police had any leads, which might help them, and no he was not just hanging about to mess with Carmelita and check out her new ‘friend’. It wasn’t that he was jealous _(he was)_ he was honestly looking into what had happened to the ‘Venus in Furs’.

He spent two days shadowing Carmelita and DCI James and found himself not only getting annoyed at the liberties the other man was taking but the amount Carmelita was letting him get away with.  
He touched her a lot.  
A hand on her back or her arm, nothing inappropriate but Carmelita was particular about her personal space. On that chopper flight to Interpol she’d told him a story about the time she’d hip flipped an academy classmate for touching her hair without her permission.

Maybe it was a fox thing?

Sly lowered his binocucom, “you’re acting like a stalker Cooper.” He muttered. “And now you’re talking to yourself.”

He watched the cute Bengal tiger who was working with them wave as she turned a corner, and then it was just Carmelita and James. They were officially off-duty for the evening there would be no more leads for Sly to glean tonight, he should definitely head back to the safe house. He absolutely should not follow them as James walked Carmelita back to her hotel, that would be a bad idea.

Bentley was going to kill him.

“No, no, I’m telling you… the biggest, maddest rhino you ever saw and then there’s me. Four foot nothing and two months on the job and I say like the damn fool kid I was, ‘you don’t scare me mate. I grew up on the south side’.” James was telling a story, waving his hands as he talked.

“And then what happened?”

“I woke up in hospital two days later. Apparently, and now I have no memory of this we got into a scrap.”

“I don’t know if I’d call a fight with a giant angry rhino a ‘scrap’.”

James coughed, “well officially the report states that there was an ‘altercation’ and I had to defend myself and those around me. According to the witness reports I did quite well, got the perp cuffed, radioed for an ambulance for myself and then passed out.”

Carmelita laughed, “and you really don’t remember?”

“A massive blow to the head will do that to you. The doctors say I’m lucky I didn’t lose more time.”

“Indeed, then I might have been deprived of your charming company.”

Sly nearly dropped his cane, was Carmelita flirting?

“Ah it seems this is your stop Carmelita.”

“Thank you Ray. Now are you sure you’re not going too far out of your way?”

“Not at all, my flat isn’t far.”

They were standing _very_ close together, Sly was contemplating breaking cover just to spoil the moment.

“Sly?” Bentley’s voice, loud and sudden in his ear.

Sly almost fell from his perch.

Carmelita’s head turned, “did you hear?”

“Hear what?”

Her ears lay flat, eyes narrowed. “Nothing I guess.”

Heart hammering Sly peered back over the awning he’d crawled onto, “yeah Bentley?” He whispered

“I’ve got a hit on one of the stolen pieces from the museum, get back to the safe house so we can formulate a plan.”

“Sure.” Sly muttered. “I’ll be right….” The rest of his sentence was lost as he watched James follow Carmelita into her hotel.

He followed her into the hotel.

“Sly?” Bentley asked concerned.

Sly swallowed, this wasn’t the time. “I’ll be right there Bentley.” He had a job to do.

* * *

With a stack of files and three orders of Chinese food between them, Carmelita and James sat on the floor of her hotel room.

James let out a jaw cracking yawn, “sorry ‘scuse me.”

“Not at all you should go home it’s getting late.”

“And leave you to do all this yourself? I think not.”

“I’m used to it.” She said.

James put down his folder to finish off the box of black bean noodles in front of him. “What kind of host would I be if I let you work yourself to death in my city?” He gestured at her with his chopsticks.

“Such a gentleman.” Carmelita said eyes tracking over the file she was holding. “Ray…”

“Mm?” James hummed, mouth full of noodles.

“Where are those crime scene photos?” She looked around.

“Here. Carmelita is something wrong?”

“Look,” she shoved the file photos under his nose. “The glass is cut the same way and the shoe tread found at the scene matches. These are our guys I’d bet money on it.”

Reading over her shoulder James nodded. “I think you’re right.” He pulled out his phone. “This is Detective Chief Inspector James I need a last known on…”

Carmelita grabbed her keys, “let’s go.”

Still on the phone James chased after her,

“Mitra I need you to meet us at the address I give you.”

Carmelita took the stairs two at a time, it might not be the Cooper gang but damned if she was going to let these criminals get away from her.

“Yes this is DCI James I am requesting back up at…”

Carmelita threw herself into her cruiser, “buckle up Ray.”

“Carmelita wait…”

She hit the siren,

“I haven’t given you the address yet…” His words turned into a drawn out cry as they screeched out onto the street.

* * *

“Alright Bentley I’m in position.” Sly murmured crouched on the warehouse roof. “Now you’re sure these are our guys?”

“I tracked their IP address to this location. If I did my math right, and I always do my math right then these are definitely our guys.”

Sly shrugged, “good enough for me.” He said swinging in through the window.

No sooner had his feet touched the floor than there was a wail of sirens,

“Now seriously?” He exclaimed.

There was the sound of running feet as the inhabitants tried to break and run.

“Sly! You need to get out of there.” Bentley was going nuts in his earpiece.

“Give me a second Bentley I can still do this.” He just needed to find the thieves stash it had to be nearby.

Bentley was still yelling at him, Sly took his earpiece out.

Now, where was that painting? He dodged fleeing thieves and invading cops, making his way from one side of the warehouse to the other. He noticed a small door half hidden at the end of a corridor,

“Bingo.” He whispered, covered statues and wrapped canvases crowded the room. He began pulling away dust cloths, one of these had to be the ‘Venus in Furs’.

A silhouette filled the doorway, “Cooper.”

He turned. “Carmelita.” No windows, only way out was past her. He just needed an opening. “Is it just you this evening? I thought perhaps you might bring your new ‘friend’.”

Her head tilted, “you mean James? He’s close by.”

“Of course. You two have been joined at the hip.” He said with slightly more edge to his voice than intended.

Carmelita moved into the room shock pistol up. She cast an eye over his tense posture, the way his tail was flicking restlessly. “Are you jealous Cooper?”

“Why would I be jealous?” He willed his shoulders to relax, his muscles to unclench. This was banter, he just needed to keep it up until he could make his break.

“Maybe because you see a handsome, charming gentleman and know that you cannot possibly compete.”

He bristled, “who’s not a gentleman?”

“Ha! You are jealous.”

“I am not.” Even to his own ears, he sounded like a petulant child.

“The why does this bother you?” Her tail swayed and she smirked.

Why did it bother him? 

Because he knew, how it felt to have her beneath his hands? 

Because he couldn’t bear the thought of another man touching her as he had? 

Because the memory of James following her into her hotel was burned into his brain and it was so, so easy to imagine himself in the grey furred fox’s place?

She was so close now, as close as she had been when they were dancing. She wouldn’t risk firing at such close range he could slip past her. Out of this cramped, airless space, out, away, free.

“Answer me.” She demanded.

What could he say? 

Because you’re mine, but that didn’t feel right. That wasn’t him.

“Because I’m yours.” He said with an earnestness that terrified him down to his bones.

Carmelita made a strange breathless sound and grabbed him by the collar pulling his mouth down to hers.

Sly groaned leaning into the kiss, catching her hips and wanting, wanting. He could bear her down to the ground right here, touch her, taste her. Sink his teeth into the place where her neck met her shoulder and mark her so that this time everyone would know.

“’Lita.” He begged, “’Lita please…”

“Carmelita?” A man’s voice from below them.

“Inspector Fox?”

* * *

Carmelita broke the kiss blinking at Sly… WHY DID THIS KEEP HAPPENING?!?!

“Carmelita?” James called for her again.

Sly growled, actually growled. Carmelita felt it reverberate through his chest.

Then in a move that had her entire career flashing before her eyes, she pushed at him gently. “Go.” She whispered, and as if just to confirm that she had taken complete leave of her senses she repeated it. “Go.”

He stared but the sound of pursuit was getting closer and slowly, jerkily he moved past her out the door, up the stairs toward the roof.

Carmelita closed her eyes, silently counted to ten then burst into the corridor after him.

“My God, Sly Cooper?” An astonished Mitra pointed.

Carmelita brought up her pistol, watching as Cooper disappeared through a trap door.

“Freeze Cooper.” James yelled.

The three of them burst onto the roof, for an instant Sly was a dark shape against the skyline and then he was gone.

“I won’t let you get away next time Cooper.” Carmelita yelled after him. “Next time will be different, do you hear me? Next time!” She beat her fists against the ledge of the roof and hung her head forward. 

God she had to stop kissing Sly Cooper.

* * *

To be perfectly honest Sly couldn’t remember how he got back to the safe house, he was completely out of it. Bentley and Murray even waved their hands in front of his face and all he could do was sit there and grin.

“Should we take him to a doctor?” Murray asked, “maybe he got hit in the head or something.”

Bentley frowned, “I’d blame Inspector Fox but I didn’t see her get a shot off.”

“I’m fine you guys really.” Sly said still grinning. Carmelita had kissed him.

“Are you sure?”

“Never better.” Sly replied. _Carmelita_ had kissed him.

His friends exchanged a look, “we lost the painting again.”

“So we’ll get it back.” Carmelita had _kissed_ him.

“You took out your comm again.” Bentley accused.

“Sorry Bentley, won’t do it again.” Carmelita had kissed _him!_

“Somehow I doubt that.” Bentley sighed, “I’ll go get my slide projector shall I?”

“Sounds good pal.”

 

“Alright.” Bentley said clicking through his first slide.  
An aerial shot of London with the words OPERATION: PARALYSE THIS CITY scrawled across it in yellow.  
He clicked to the second slide, the ‘Venus in Furs’ appeared. “So the good news is now we know where our painting is, the bad news is Scotland Yard has it.” The second slide clicked through to a photo of The Met with a big red X across it. “Now it’s going to take some doing to get in there and steal it so we’re going to need a distraction and since apparently nothing is more distracting than Inspector Fox we’re going to use her.” A stick figure rendition of Carmelita appeared in the next slide.

“Is that a dig?” Sly demanded.

“Please save all questions until the end of the presentation.” Bentley said. “Now what I think we’re going to have to do is make her angry, and I’m not talking her usual ‘grr argh get the Cooper gang’ levels of angry. I’m talking Rajan levels of explosive, volcanic rage.” The stick figure Carmelita was overlaid with a red face and smoke coming out the top of her head. “Now thanks to Sly’s obsession with winding her up with that song I have gotten access to speaker systems all over Europe. So tomorrow, we’re going to play that song. Everywhere. Hopefully Inspector Fox will make such a fuss they won’t even notice us. And Sly, because you begged I’ve sent Detective Chief Inspector James an email asking him to head out to Broadmoor Prison to look over some paperwork. I don’t know how having one less cop around will make any difference though.”

“Trust me pal.”

“Now to your assignments, Sly there’s a local dry cleaners you can hit to ‘borrow’ a uniform. Murray I’m going to need you to make a mess of the slip road that connects the Yard to the garages so we have a clean getaway. I’m going to need to stay here and co-ordinate the synchronisation of all the speakers. Let’s move out.”

* * *

Mitra passed Carmelita a cup of tea, “here you go milk and one Inspector.”

“Thank you Priya.” Carmelita said closing her hands around the Styrofoam cup.

“It’s a shame DCI James had to go all the way out to Broadmoor today.” Mitra said lightly.

“Mm and miss out on all this fun paperwork.” Carmelita said sipping her tea.

“I know he was looking forward to going out for drinks once the case was done. First pint is always on him when we celebrate closing a case. Tradition.” Mitra said sitting down with her own tea. “It certainly is lucky that you’re not rushing back to Paris Inspector,” her smile turned coy. “DCI James would have hated to miss his chance to say goodbye.”

“I’m not going anywhere just yet. Not until I have a concrete lead on Cooper.”

“That was incredible that you found him at the warehouse.” Mitra said abandoning the pretence of her paperwork entirely. “And him using the artworks as cover to protect himself from you, what a nerve.”

Carmelita coughed, “yes well he is a thief.”

“And to think…” One of Mitra’s ears twitched, “do you hear something?”

Both women stared at their cups of tea as the liquid quivered,

“Is that music?”

It was, and it was getting louder. Carmelita shot to her feet as recognition hit. IT WAS _THAT SONG!_

“COOPER.” She yelled.

“What?” Mitra cried back, covering her ears.  


The pulse of the music was deafening now and it appeared to be coming from everywhere. Windows shook in their frames, doors were flung open as superior officers demanded answers. People were running up and down the corridors, looking for a source of the noise, phones began ringing adding to the din.

Carmelita was going to scream, this was Cooper’s doing. If this was about what had happened last night she was going to kill him. Damn the law and damn her job. The raccoon had to die.

In the chaos no one noticed a whistling constable walk into the evidence room, sign out a wrapped canvas and walk confidently back out.

The song mercifully ended and the following silence was possibly more deafening than the music. Just for a second everything was still as they waited, then the ringing phones and shouting superiors broke the hush and there were a few more minutes of general pandemonium as everyone tried to figure out what had happened.

“Some kind of prank do you think?” Mitra asked.

Carmelita ground her teeth, ooh when she got her hands on that no good, dirty, rotten, thieving raccoon. What was he playing at?

“Superintendent Lindsay.” A constable bust into the office. “The road connecting the garages, someone’s mined it or something… it’s a mess.”

_Oh no…_

Carmelita grabbed Mitra’s arm, “we need to check on the ‘Venus in Furs’ right now.”

“Uh sure Inspector.”

They ran down to the evidence room, the very surprised evidence clerk was even more surprised when at Carmelita’s insistence, they checked and the painting was gone.

“I don’t understand I only looked away for a moment, I was distracted when that weird music started playing… there was an officer here. Maybe they took it by mistake?”

Carmelita snatched the logbook, flicking through it.

“There.” The clerk said pointing to a neat signature at the bottom of the page.

“Constable… Cooper.” Mitra leaned down to read over Carmelita’s shoulder. “Well there’s your missing signature Inspector.”

Screaming vengeance Carmelita flung the book at the wall. She definitely was going to kill the raccoon.

* * *

Sitting in the van, still whistling ‘their song’ Sly looked over the canvas. A depiction of the goddess Venus, not as a whale as she was usually portrayed but as a vixen. He liked it, the red hair reminded him of Carmelita in that wig.  
“You remember the next stop Murray?”

“No problem Sly.”

“And the second stage is all ready to go Bentley?”

“Trust me Sly I’ve had days to work on this.”

“Alright then.” Sly grinned. “Let’s get this done, then how about some sight-seeing?”

“Sly I’ve already told you. You are not robbing the Tower of London.”

Sly laughed, “Brighton then or Blackpool? We’ll go ride the dodgem cars.”

“Heck yeah.” Murray said enthusiastically. “The Murray loves the dodgem cars. Oh and cotton candy.”

“Now that sounds like a plan.” Bentley agreed.

Sly traced his fingers along the edge of the ornate frame, a plan indeed.

* * *

Knocking politely Carmelita walked into James’ office,

“Carmelita.” James smiled at her. “Good to see you.”

“Welcome back.”

“Thank you, I can’t believe I got all the way out to Broadmoor and no one had any idea why I was there.”

Carmelita had a theory about that concerning a certain growling raccoon.

“Did you hear they recovered the ‘Venus in Furs’?”

“Yes, found by a passel of adorable orphans I hear.” Carmelita said stiffly.

“They’re apparently going to use the reward money to save their orphanage from being closed down. And the painting itself is being donated to Hyde Museum proper since the original owner was suddenly arrested for embezzlement.”

Carmelita grit her teeth, “so happy endings all around then.”

James seemed to miss her irritation, “indeed.” He looked up at her smiling. “You know Carmelita now that the case is over I was wondering if, in the interests of inter-agency co-operation of course. I might take you out for dinner.”

Carmelita felt some of her ire melt away. “Yes I think I’d like…”

Then _that damn song_ started playing. Automatically Carmelita reached for her phone but it wasn’t in her pocket… because of course it wasn’t, she’d thrown it into the Thames several days previously.

“Sorry, that’s mine.” James said muting the call.

“That song…” Carmelita ground out.

“Oh… uh, yes.” He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I happened to notice it was your ringtone when you… um… disposed of your phone and one of my juniors changed it since I missed out on that strange prank the other day. And well I really like the song so I haven’t changed it back yet.”

Carmelita blinked, once, twice and then said. “Actually Detective Chief Inspector James I must go back to Paris. Right now. Immediately. It was a pleasure working with you.” And she spun on her heel and marched straight out of his office.

She had a raccoon to catch.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes a lot of this was silly but so are the games. Let me have this.


End file.
